Happy New Year!

Tomorrow, my son begins second grade. I am left to wonder where has the time gone?? I do not mean this in a weepy, my baby is growing so fast sort of way, but rather in a really where has the time gone kind of way??

I feel like just yesterday I was living in my college campus apartment with my 4 roomies fighting over whose turn it is to wash dishes or buy toilet paper. Now, here I am 12 years later married with a kid and working on my second college degree PAST that one I was working on then.

I feel so fortunate to be able to look upon my life fondly, as many people have such hurtful pasts. I must give myself some credit for the work and dedication I have invested in myself and my family, but I also credit those around me who support all my crazy ideas and 'IT MUST ALL BE DONE NOW OR SOONER!' personality.

For me, the year runs from August-June. July and August are mere formality as we laze in the summer heat, and January is just another flip of the calendar to me. I look forward to the next few months, moving into the holiday season and FINALLY moving on into my new career. Come January, a new year will only be a number, but my life will finally be on its new path. Working in a career I love, with a kid in school and a blank slate to welcome whatever is next in store for me. I have some ideas, of course, but it is not in my nature to commit until the time comes.

But, DANG! Time really does fly. As many kiddos I know head back to school tomorrow or the following Monday, I wish you all a Happy New Year! Despite obstacles that may fling your way, ultimately YOU are in control of the path you take and the way you feel about it. The best vague, yet invaluable encouragement I have ever received is 'go do good things!' Ok, then! Don't mind if I do :)

Last leg

Tomorrow at 0700, I take the first steps on the final leg of the wildest and most fulfilling ride I have ever embarked on. It all began 3 summers ago when I was recovering from a reconstructive foot surgery and was online job hunting. Nothing in my field at the time was appealing to me and the wheels started turning. Somehow, I got into researching nursing degrees and 6 months later, I was a pre-clinical student taking my basic anatomy & physiology classes.

Nursing school itself is not my 'wildest ride,' but the fact that I did it in my thirties, making a total career change and with a child in tow. It has been a real game changer for me. I am happier, look forward to having a job and most importantly have a new found realization of just how strong and smart I am. I would have never realized my capacity to understand and love science and how the human body works. I also learned that stepping out of your comfort zone is very freeing, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

I feel a great sense of closure going into this final semester. This is the way it was supposed to go. I am in a great place and am ready to greet the challenges that lie ahead with a come hither attitude. I am not afraid. What will be, will be and I will adapt.

For the next 15 weeks, I will do my best to persevere, and be the best damn student nurse I can be. I will hold the attitude that I am capable and will not let anyone make me feel otherwise. After all, I have come this far and this was not for the faint of heart. Most importantly, I will do this for my family. If I am happy and confident and proud, I will lead by example. An example I am proud to set for my young son. An example that makes my husband proud to have a crazy spitfire of a wife.

I am buckled in, scrubs ready to go....I am off to help people feel better in their time of need....what a cool job! :)

'Do it all!'

I feel like as I approach my mid-30's, babies are the new weddings. My fridge is a revolving door of shower invites and newborn announcements. When we were in our mid-20's, that same fridge was a landing spot for wedding shower, bachelor/bachelorette, and wedding invites. It is funny how things change. 

However, it has me thinking...why did I do everything when I did? Most of my friends are around my age, give or take a few years. Yet, I was married first and have a kiddo going into the second grade while most of my friendly counterparts are seeking out preschools or taking birthing classes. 

Granted, some of these babies are second, third or (GULP!) fourth children, but even their elder kids are younger than mine. Why was I in such a hurry?? At the same time, most of these mamas are ready to take some time off or work after having had their careers for 10-15 years by now. I am only beginning in that sense. Which leaves me with the question, when did I become THAT girl?!? The one who has the kid(s) and then stalks out into the career force. Not for lack of education, or jobs to support my younger self, mind you. I just felt driven to 'DO IT ALL!' then like I have that same drive in a different way to 'DO IT ALL!' now. But did I 'DO IT ALL!' backwards?

Most of my male friends married and had kiddos later also. Likely because the women-folk weren't ready and waited it out, unlike me. I do not think I am in a bad place, I am just pondering how I got here. And wondering if I am the only one who is wondering where the time has gone and why I spent it the way I did. 

I adore my child. He is exceptionally bright, witty, and gives me something to ponder each and every day. In fact, while I predicted his math skills would surpass mine by the third grade, I was wrong. First going into second grade has done it. I shut down when he asked me to refresh his memory of the Fibonacci sequence just the other day. But none of this takes away from the fact that I am still me, and I can still wonder when I ended up on the path I did. 

I am curious to see what our next generation trends toward. My generation seems to have taken the 'I will do it all' attitude with careers first and then loads of babies (not me. I am still confused.) Perhaps, this next generation will study abroad on Mars and have alien babies?