Grocery store

I would love to review the security tapes from my late afternoon trips to the grocery store. These trips are usually to pick up a few items I need to make dinner or whatever. The child and myself have both been in school all day, and after a 45 minute commute home, we are tired and ready to be HOME.

Since he is of course too big to put in a cart, he has to walk it with me which is fine, but a child potentially with ADHD in a grocery store is like a greyhound taking off after the rabbit at the track. He runs circles around displays, hides behind shelves, grabs and asks for virtually everything at his eye level....All the while I am trudging along behind him simply wanting to grab my loaf of bread and gallon of milk and GO!

He gets in the way of other people, he knocks things over.....by the time we get to the check-out, I am ready to pull my hair out. I scold, I grab him by the arm, I give empty threats, I growl his name through gritted teeth. I am the perfect model of what NOT to do when disciplining your child. But by this time, I've had it and I don't care.

There are a couple of cashiers that I frequent. Younger kids working after school. I can see the gleam of recognition and the rising giggles as I navigate my way to them, grabbing at the scruff of the boy's neck before he ravages the candy rack at the register. Then there are the automatic doors which he bolts toward while I swipe my card. Since he has no worry in the world, it is a real danger that even 6 years old he will run right out into the parking lot. So, to the joy of the frustrated people behind me, I leave my meager groceries and purse mid-purchase and run off to grab him by the arm and drag him back by the shoulder while I finish my transaction. At least by this point he is maniacally laughing, which the irritated people behind me find hilarious.

While I wish I could simply grab what I need and run, part of me guesses that at least I can provide a funny story for someone to share at their family dinner table. And I am sure whoever reviews those tapes gets a good chuckle every time he and I bound through the entrance....

Empty playroom

We are in the process of re-carpeting and furnishing our main living areas, including a room that has been home to the child's toys the past several years. The room held his toy kitchen, train table, and numerous shelves filled with books, puzzles, games, action figures, cars, etc...Everything has been moved to the finished basement where we will create a rec room with all of the old furniture that is being replaced.

While this room has been purposed as a playroom, it has mainly been used during playdates and parties when other kids would come over and marvel at the set-up and toys he has. But he never seemed interested in any of it....until we gutted it out. All that remains in there is the carpet and an old random futon. And he plays in there constantly....

He is in there now bouncing a small bouncy ball off the walls, he brings in the occasional stuffed animal which 'watches' him perform ninja kicks and tricks, and he just lies on the ground with his feet up on the wall and daydreams. He even dubbed it a 'music room' and wants to practice his violin in there.

He is excited to have the new room set-up downstairs, but I think he is more highly anticipating the idea of a tv of his own than his toys. It amazes me how much more occupied he is with an empty room than a room full of toys....he actually entertains himself. It is so peaceful...

This speaks volumes to me about all of the 'stuff' we have these days. I admittedly have WAY more stuff than I 'need' and apparently he does too. In all our attempts to provide him with a well-rounded supply of activities and toys, we missed the idea that a kid just needs to play....even if it is in an empty playroom...

Sick day

Today is the kind of day I needed. It is a day I am able to keep my kid with the screaming red throat home from school, I will not miss out on anything, AND the hubby will come home mid-day so that I can go do what I do need to accomplish. Wow! I forgot these days exist. Stuff happens. And I am typically fairly flexible and can deal with it. But when it interferes with my school, aka soon-to-be career, I panic.

Although I wish my kid did NOT have a throat on fire, I am glad that the stars aligned leaving me with a free morning and a husband within an hour radius of home. It gives me hope. Hope that we ARE normal, hope that we ARE ok, hope that we CAN and WILL get through this rough patch I call nursing school.

I have some work to do on-line, studying galore and 2 dogs who are enjoying every last second of weekday cuddle time. The kid is just lounging in jammies watching Sprout. This is what sick days are made of. And I am so lucky to be able to afford my kid a normal one, one without panic and fighting over which parent needs to miss out on their job.

I am not sure what will happen tomorrow, if he is not better. I am sure the you-know-what will hit the fan, but for now I will enjoy, drink my coffee in my house from a real mug and bask in the ability to take care of my kid the way he deserves :) :)

Aspen

So we decided to take a vacation. We weren't going to....truly, we were not. Planning a pretty major excursion 6 weeks out is not typically my style. In fact, I am pretty sure I developed a twitch during the reservation process this morning.

We took our first spring break trip last year when me and the child's spring break schedules just so happened to line up. Hubby was already out in Cali for a conference the week before, so we just flew out and met him. This year, we considered and then re-thought the whole idea. Ultimately, I had decided it was a bad idea considering it is my last semester of nursing school and may have some loose ends to tie up. Then the past 2 weeks happened...

Spouse away more days/nights than home, child acting up, me left to my own devices to deal with it all and a broken toe and death in the family to spice things up just a bit more. I decided we needed a vacation. Somewhere not here. Somewhere with time together away from the bustle of the every day.

We searched the Carribbean, Orlando....everywhere was pretty much booked, so I started looking into ski venues. The east coast is not having a good winter, so out west I looked....and fell in love with the idea of our family vacationing in Aspen...'someplace warm, where the beer flows like wine...' While we will certainly not be as stylish and posh as the Cruise and Beckam families are while getting some r&r in this idyllic Colorado town, we will create memories to last a lifetime. And we will have no decision bigger than 'pool or hot tub?' after our day on the slopes....

6 weeks and counting....bring it on stress...we're headed to Aspen!

Snow day

Feeling more like myself today...partially in thanks to the SNOW!! There is nothing like waking up to a wonderland of snow blanketing our world. I also happen to be fortunate enough to have a view from my back windows that never ends, of beautiful farmland that is especially gorgeous when covered in the white stuff.

Then there is the kid. He got up to pee at around 0700, after which my bedroom door slammed open as he bounded in shouting "MOMMY! IT SNOWED! IT REALLY SNOWED!" Most of my mornings begin by some sort of exclamation on his part, but this one rivaled the squeals of joy on Christmas morning. I convinced him that it would be a good idea to hang out inside until we had some breakfast, and sweetened the pot by offering to make pancakes. Currently, he is occupied by daddy (who is FINALLY home and hopefully will remain on a normal work pattern at least for the next few days) working on his LEGO Millenium Falcon.

Now that I am full of whole-wheat blueberry pancakes and had my coffee, I am ready to face the snow-chilled goodness that awaits us outside. This helps me to be thankful that we are together as a family and are physically well and able to go out to shovel and play.

Today I am thankful for the therapeutic effect of: the snow day :)

Ruby shoes

Over the past 2 weeks, my life has been a whirlwind of nursing, schoolwork, violin lessons, car line, preparing meals, washing dishes, laundry, making sure homework is complete...and getting up the next day to do it all over again. I am not sure if it is holiday letdown, lack of vitamin D, or just plain aggravation, but I am in a FUNK. 

I can't explain it any other way. I am just on a short fuse, tired, feeling like I can't please anyone...wah, wah, wah....But then I look at people around me. A single mom of 4 fighting cancer, a young man fighting MS, a family with a critically ill child in the hospital who may not pull through, a single mom of 3 who's child has been in and out of the hospital for months, a beloved head of his family taken from us unexpectedly...I am still tired and frustrated, but I can see it in perspective. My child is healthy and in a wonderful school. I will graduate and be free of the demands of nursing school in a few short months. My husband is ridiculously busy because his company's business is booming....What do I really have to complain about? 

I am still tired. I am irritated that I have to do 'everything' myself. But at least I have the ability to do so. If scheduling the delivery of my new carpet and furniture are my biggest pet peeve, so be it. I hate to be the girl who's ruby shoes are too tight. That isn't me. I reach out and help people. I do what I can, albeit small, to brighten someone's day. 

With this in mind, tomorrow I shall strive to smile more, jot a note to someone who is going through a truly hard time, donate money to a cause that will put it to good use, pick my head up and do what I need to get done. 

I will get out of my 'FUNK' by realizing that I have nothing to funk about. I will still grumble about doing the laundry and the fact that I am spending my second friday night in a row sans spouse watching the goodnight show on sprout and hoping the child drifts off to sleep....it's all a part of life. The life I chose for myself, not one bestowed upon me by some force I was defenseless to. I shall be thankful that I have the ability to complete what I need to do even if it is less than convenient. Deep breath....moving on...

The business trip phenomenon...

I would really love to know what it is that makes bizarre things happen when my husband goes out of town for work. How does karma KNOW when he is leaving, how long he'll be gone and how to throw JUST enough at me to make me go a little cuckoo??

This trip, which still has another 24+ hours to go, fell over MLK day, which left me scrambling for a sitter (thanks to a dear friend for covering!) made me go in late for the second week in a row to my clinical portion of class, AND left me with a broken toe. The minor inconveniences come with the territory, but the toe was the twist of bizarre to make my life a twinge more difficult.

The first time he went away for more than a couple of days, happened to be the exact same day our son (14months old at the time) decided to take his first steps, leaving me in a 100% NON-childproofed house. The next memorable incident was a few years later when I was recovering from a major foot surgery and one of our dogs got horribly sick. I couldn't take care of her the way she needed, so I boarded her at the vet who ran every test known to man, and $700 later it turned out she had a minor UTI...A year or so after that, our refrigerator motor blew up the day he flew out, leaving me living out of coolers in our garage and frantically shopping for a replacement.

I am not a particularly spiritual person, but even I can't help but wonder if there is a little more than coincidence to these situations. Maybe someone is trying to show me how good I have it with him, and how much he really does help and support me when he is home. Maybe it is a trial to show me that I CAN"T do this all alone, even though I feel like I can. Hmm...I dunno, but it sure makes me wonder what is behind this business trip phenomenon ;)