My turn

The kid (9) comes home from school today telling me how I just HAVE to let him attend this after-school bowling program at a bowling alley I have never heard of before. A van will pick him up from school, bring him to the bowling alley, and I can come pick him up in 3 hours.

I explain to him that I need more information. He feels I have all I need. We argue over the fact that I say "I don't even know where this is," and he says "the address is RIGHT. HERE," totally glossing over the fact that I STILL have no idea where the place is. I then explain to him that I need to speak with someone before letting him get into some random van that will take him to the bowling alley I have never been to or heard of before. He sees no problems, I see about a hundred and ten of them. Then, of course, there is the friend who is "90% sure he can go" (I called his mom. He can't go.) My kid is convinced I am ruining his life and stunting his social prospects with all of my minor safety concerns. 

Believe it or not, this was all just back story. The real story is, aside from me not wanting to send my kid to some random bowling alley that is kind enough to send a van to pick him up from school, it happens on an evening that I planned an activity for myself. I plan on taking up Zumba, and my first class happens to be the same evening as the first evening as this program. 

In order to be available to pick him up, I would not be able to make it to my Zumba class. A few months ago, I would have said "fine. I will miss Zumba." But this time I said no. I have plans on these nights. He was shocked. Maybe I was a little bit too. The mom who has always planned her own social and personal life around her kid's schedule, is saying no to an activity that conflicts with her own *GASP!* 

The truth is, I run him around to a variety of activities in locations up to 45 minutes away from home, several days a week. I work full-time during the week, and my time for me is limited to non-existent. I am taking back time for me. I can tell him no. Or he can ask his dad if he can be home early to take him/pick him up. I will continue to do everything I can to not miss a game, or special event. But I am a person too, and I need some time for me. It's my turn. This is my start. 

At least he won't have to resort to reading his Kindle in the car, waiting for me to come out of Zumba like I do for him....