The Starter Family

Just a few weeks ago I was offended by a person on facebook who in anticipation of their second child, referred to their current only child situation as a 'starter family.' This really bothered me. At first, I thought of the audacity of this person to inadvertently call my singleton child, husband and I a 'starter family.' Then I cooled down and realized I needed to get over it, after all, they were referring to their own family which they indeed considered to be a 'starter family.'

Yet, here I am weeks later blogging about this term. Is this a term people use? Are families with one child like a bike with training wheels?? Do I not intend on having any more children because I have failed at this one and cannot move forward? Or do I truly want to pursue my career and educational endeavors which do not allow time for pregnancy or *gasp* an infant in our home?? These thoughts were followed up with my 6 year-old proclaiming in the check-out line of the grocery store that he is asking Santa for a sister for Christmas....am I WRONG to intentionally have an only child???

Asking a woman when she is going to have another baby is like asking a newlywed couple when they are going to start having kids. You just don't. It is too personal, invasive and rude. Yet, I get asked all the time. Then there is my favorite comment 'well, it is different when you only have one.' Are my husband and I lesser parents since we haven't popped out a gaggle of children and crammed them into our 4-bedroom house?? No. Are we wrong for wanting to provide our child with a private education, which we may not be able to afford if we add more to our family? No. This is our choice.

Am I overly sensitive about this? Resoundingly, yes. I admire families who choose to fill their house with the pitter patter of many little feet....it is just not for me...therefore, we are not a 'starter family.' We are 'our family.'