Under the bus

So, my kid totally threw me under the bus yesterday at his annual physical (yeah, he just turned 7 1/2, but I am that awesomely organized that we missed his 7 year...whatevs, he's fine.) Here's the back story:

On Sunday afternoon, we went out to dinner with my brother, and the departure was somewhat chaotic, giving him directions, the kid not wanting to say goodbye, kid misbehaving in a parking lot...I got in the passenger side and had my purse and a hoodie across my lap. Hubby wrestles kiddo into his booster and we pull out of the parking lot. I shifted and realized in a panic I had never put on my seatbelt. I consider myself to be a non-judgemental person, but I will fight you hard core about the importance of seatbelts and helmets...Two shifts as a student nurse in a trauma neuro unit and working as an RN in a neuro recovery unit will do that to ya....I am never one to not buckle up.

I exclaimed "AH! I never put my seatbelt on!" and immediately buckled up. We then discussed how dangerous that was even for a short minute, and moved on...or so I thought.

As part of the physical the next day, the pediatrician runs down a list of safety issues that would pertain to the child's age. "You should always be in a booster seat with a seatbelt whenever you are in the car, right?" The answer? "Yeah, but my mom doesn't always wear HER seatbelt." The pediatrician turns to me with a disapproving look in his eyes as I nervously laugh and give a quick synopsis of the day before....he wasn't buying it. He then explained to my kid how he should remind his mom to always buckle up if she forgets. This guy totally thinks I am a repeat offender...AWESOME!

Oh well...at least it was reinforced how important seatbelts are and what a dolt mom was for not putting hers on...even if it was just one remote incident, I promise you. Buckle up!!

Simplify

I am trying to turn over a new leaf in our house. One of simpler times. One that includes spending more time in our home, not running around like crazy. With the exception of things we have to do like school, work, dr and therapy appointments, we have few other commitments outside of baseball and scouts. This allows us much more free time in our home.

I am even going so far as to re-purpose rooms in our house for hanging out. We are creating a reading/music room, a rec room in the basement. I look forward to working out in the yard this spring and summer to create a more inviting space with a garden, cozier furniture for gathering 'round the chiminea, etc.

I am trying to destroy this notion of "what are we going to do today?" The answer will already be there. You may read, play in the yard, jump on your trampoline, play with your toys....we do not have to create out of the home activities. We pay a lot of money for our home. Let's use it.

While it will initially cost money to re-create these spaces within our home, when we think about how much less we will spend on out of the home activities, the home improvements feel like a no-brainer. Imagine what we will save on gas, admission prices, impulse purchases, etc.

We have started small, in the past week by eating most of our meals at home rather than out, and letting the kiddo stay in his pj's for longer on days we are home. By not creating the hustle and bustle of 'starting our day,' the whole atmosphere is more relaxed and flowed with a 'we'll get there when we get there attitude.'

I have been inspired by friends and neighbors who spend much of their time at home. Their homes are neat, organized and not inundated by stuff. I have even found myself more recently searching for items in my home to re-purpose, rather than go out and purchase something. Even things as simple as gift wrap and cards can be invented from items we have in our home. Last week we baked based on ingredients we already had in the pantry and fridge.

I realize I am not spouting rocket science, and many of my readers have already been doing this all along. But it is new to us, and still exciting. I am sure boredom will hit, and I am certainly not ruling out vacations and trips to museums, movies, etc. It is just that in the typical day-to-day we are simplifying. I have more than I realized already at my fingertips. It is very refreshing!

Phone calls

I remember being a kid and going totally bonkers with my brother anytime my mom was on the phone. It was as if the word "hello?" triggered permission to do whatever we wanted with no repercussions. As if we thought she was transported into some alternate universe where she could no longer hear or see what we were up to. 

Well, now my kid (and dogs) do the same thing to me...ten-fold. Picking up the phone to do anything other than checking email or texting elicits every need my child has at any given moment to flood to his urgent surface. It is the exact moment he needs food or drink seemingly to survive, the dogs need to pee RIGHT THEN, and some random toy breaks into a gajillion pieces. Really?!

I use the phone for speaking rarely and sparingly because of this. How can these things transpire in the exact millisecond I begin forming the sound "h-" with my voice? If by rare chance I make it past the initial "hello," I often am asked if I "have people over" because it is so noisy. Nope. Just my ONLY child and my two 10-pound dogs and me trying to talk to you. 

The best part is that as soon as I say something like "well, I should be going" or something of the like, the kiddo panics and begs me NOT to hang up. Which leads me to further believe that he really does believe he is invincible and without consequence as long as I feebly attempt to accomplish something via phone. 

So, if you need to chat, I'll catch ya after we have him moved into his dorm room.....as long as the dogs don't start their pee-pee dance. For now, I shall leave it at 'text me.' ;)

Sharing and needs

I have decided to hit the blog again as "The Well-Rounded Mom," as my life has taken an unexpected turn. To recap my past several months, I have successfully completed nursing school, passed boards and am officially an RN. (Yay!) I got a job right out of school, which was fantastic, but I have had to resign.

Reality has hit, and an epiphany inspired by a conversation with a school psychologist has kicked me into full mom-mode. I have decided to take some time to be a full-time mom. He deserves it. He needs it.

My 7 year-old kiddo is diagnosed as having anxiety and sensory processing disorder. The by-product of these diagnoses is a super-sensitive kiddo who is affected  by everything in his environment. He is a "sensory seeker," meaning he seeks sensory stimulation in the forms of jumping, touching EVERYTHING, sticking objects in his ears, etc...the fun never ends in this house. He craves structure, routine and consistency, and providing that for him IS my full-time job at the moment. I feel for moms who have to work to make ends meet financially, while having a child like mine. Providing routine, getting to therapies and planning each detail of your kiddo's day down to the minute is exhausting and time consuming. And in addition to the planning, the kid is always into something...I use that phrase "into something" all of the time, because I have no other way to describe it. He just always is exploring and seeking, and anything may strike him. "Stop getting into things!" is my typically exacerbated plea.

Some may think or say "why does she share this??" I share this because there is no shame in it. It is what it is (another favorite phrase.) Cognitive and mental "illnesses" are the same as any other illness affecting the body. The stomach bug makes you vomit, neuro and brain illnesses cause your brain to work in a different way. End of story. I see plenty of people sharing the details of their respiratory, GI dysfunctions, and even cancer in public forums. Let's talk about our brains and nervous systems. We all have them.

I also hate the term "special needs." We all have needs. All of us. So why are my kiddo's needs special? They're not really. They are just his needs, like you have yours. And this is my point. This is our row to hoe. We embrace it.