PPFFTT!

Well, it is no secret that I am not a man. I have given birth. I do not grow facial hair, my voice did not drop during puberty, and I DO NOT understand what is so funny about bathroom words and sounds. Perhaps it is the student nurse in me, but talking about diarrhea (I know how to spell that correctly thanks to nursing school!) is just not a topic of conversation I choose for fun. I have seriously detailed conversations about it with clients 'at work.' Nor do I make fart noises and laugh hysterically if someone or something does.

However, my son and husband think this is all hysterical. I never noticed my husband getting a kick out of it until our 6 year-old son did. So in his defense, he is likely reverting back to childhood humor. But now our evening conversations are consumed with 'did you just fart?!' *fart sound with mouth*  or 'quick! i'm going to have diarrhea!' *more fart sounds with mouth* Heaven forbid someone sits on a wooden or leather chair that creaks the wrong way.

I actually get aggravated by how humorous they find it....I don't know if I am truly annoyed, or just jealous that something so simple and natural can provide so much entertainment?! If only PMS were this hilarious...at least I would have my very own private joke to laugh about every 28 days or so!

Enough

I have had to explain death to my child too many times in his 6 years...especially recently. Death does not really make sense to any of us, and it is alway sad. But for us recently, it has been a young cousin taken too soon, and just this past week the father of a child in his class. Why? We've had enough.

We raise our child very openly with very open and broad beliefs. I will not and cannot explain something that I do not know as a fact, so death is particularly hard to deal with. Even if you tell a child someone has gone to heaven, that is so abstract. And I have the child who wants to know exactly where, how you get there, what the accommodations are like...OY!

This is not about comfort on my part. I am open and willing to explain whatever he wants to know....but I don't have the answers to this one...nobody does. I do not want him to fear dying or death of those around him, but at the same time it is a harsh reality that has been pounded repeatedly into our thoughts.

As a former educator, I experienced several parents' passings, and the aftermath wreaked upon the community. The sadness, the terror....even worse, I have experienced the loss of children...a child attending another child's funeral is just about more than I can handle...I  hope I will prepare and comfort him enough for his class's circle discussion tomorrow morning about the loss of a child's parent...but I also realize that he will form his own theories, thoughts and beliefs. This is one of those moments where I have to let him go a little bit more....each time we let go a little, they grow a little...I just wish he didn't have to grow in this way so quickly...

Rich and famous

We had the opportunity to take a spring break vacation this year, and chose to hit up Aspen, Colorado. The events of these past few weeks, including the tragic loss of a young cousin of ours, made the idea of getting away so much sweeter.

But that is not what I am blogging about. I am blogging about the incredibly rude and ignorant parenting we witnessed among the wealthy Apsen vacationers....Holy wow!!

Apparently, putting your kid in the best, priciest purchased ski gear is the only way to go. While our kid had a fancy-schmancy snowsuit (that I purchased off-season at 50% off,) his rented equipment made him stand out in the crowd. Why would one purchase their growing child ski equipment?? It will last them months at best, and guess what? They lose EVERYTHING!! A kid in our kid's class lost his helmet...how does one lose what is attached to their head?! So his parents bought him a new one?!?!

Then there were the parents who would only have their child in a private lesson. I can see both sides on that one, but why pay for a private lesson when your child is only going to cry and refuse to ski??? You just paid good money for a qualified ski professional to print out sheets for your kid to color in!

Then the best part....the parents who picked up their kids when ski school was over, did not pay for extended care, and instead let their kids run amok in the outside perimeter of the bar while they enjoyed their pitcher of beer and tequila shots. Seriously?! Keep it classy, people! We brought our kid into the bar with us and bribed him with candy while we chugged our brews ;)

My husband and I are far from perfect, but puh-lease! If you are going to ignore your children, leave them at home. Or hire a babysitter...I met a nanny of a tiny little Brazilian baby whose parents hired her for the week....that's right, I roll with 'the help.' I am fascinated by people with nannies. Put your infant in a Bugaboo Chameleon in a fancy fleece bunting, and hit the slopes worry -free...NICE!

The highlight of my week though, was when we were sitting by a fire pit. We saw a kid get burned by the heat, and when another came to take his place throwing rocks into the flames I said, 'hey buddy, be careful it's really hot over there.' He winced in pain from the heat, told me I was not in charge of him and continued to bask in the scalding heat simply in order to disobey my comment. Wow. Just wow. The kid would rather get burned than take heed from a well-meaning adult.

We did have fun, and my kid has his share of gems too....like when he loudly announced in a swanky steakhouse that he was not going to vomit but he really needed to poo...I can only hope we provided fodder for some other hopeful blogger this week ;)