Next?

As my winter 'break' winds down and I begin thinking about my fourth and final semester of nursing school, I cannot help but wonder 'what's next?' I was all about finding a job and becoming a nurse, and while that is still a goal, I am now pondering what sort of degree within nursing I will pursue next, should I take a break after I graduate and get my family and house settled before I move onto full-time work, etc, etc?

I don't remember this feeling upon graduating as an undergrad in 2000. I had no choice but to find a job and support myself financially. When I finished my masters degree in 2005, I was 5 months pregnant and the plan was for me to take some time off of work to be a SAHM.

It is as if finishing my RN is a formality at this point. Something I am too far invested in to NOT finish. Although, part of me feels like I could walk away from it all guilt-free. Does this mean I do not want to be a nurse? No. Not at all. I actually love healthcare and nursing, and look forward to making a difference in the lives of others. It is just that this time, my next chapter is not written out for me. My options are endless. I could pop out some more babies, go straight to work, pursue my volunteer endeavors, begin research and pursue my lifelong goal of becoming published.... It seems as if the possibilities are bottomless. And this stresses me out!!!!!

Maybe my ruby shoes are too tight and I am just so spoiled that I have become aimless. Maybe I am someone who will just NEVER feel settled.....Or maybe I just need to let go a little bit and just let life happen. I can feel the muscles of my neck and shoulders tighten and the migraine creeping in at this very thought, BUT it may be the best decision I will ever make.....just let life happen...*sigh*....NEXT!